
Reach for this book when your child expresses frustration with the differences between their two households or feels like a temporary visitor in a parent's new life. This gentle story follows a young boy during a weekend visit with his father and stepmother. To cope with his feelings of displacement and the small irritations of a blended home, he keeps a secret list of things he will do differently when he is the grownup in charge. It is a deeply validating read for children ages 5 to 8 who are navigating the complexities of divorce. It moves beyond the initial shock of separation to address the long-term emotional work of belonging in two places at once. Parents will appreciate how it models a healthy way for children to reclaim a sense of agency through writing and imagination.
The book deals with divorce and blended families in a direct, secular, and highly realistic manner. There is no magical reconciliation of the parents; instead, the resolution is found in Daniel's growing resilience and his realization that he is loved in both homes, even if they feel different.
A child aged 6 to 9 who has moved past the 'crisis' phase of divorce and is now dealing with the 'new normal' of step-parents, half-siblings, and the feeling of living out of a suitcase.
Read cold. The tone is gentle, though parents should be prepared to discuss the specific 'list' items Daniel creates, as they might mirror the child's own grievances. A parent might see their child acting out after a transition between houses or overhear a child saying, 'At Mom's house, we're allowed to do this.'
Younger children (5-6) will relate to the physical items on the list, like staying up late. Older children (7-9) will resonate with the deeper subtext of wanting a voice in family dynamics.
Unlike many 'divorce books' that focus on the parents' explanation of the split, this book centers entirely on the child's internal coping mechanism and his private processing of his dual identity.
The story follows Daniel during a routine weekend stay at his father's house, which he shares with his stepmother and a new baby half-sibling. Throughout the visit, Daniel encounters small moments of friction: a forgotten favorite food, different house rules, and the feeling of being an outsider in his father's 'new' life. To manage his feelings, Daniel maintains a running mental and written list of 'What I'll Remember When I Am a Grownup,' envisioning a future where he has control over his environment.
This overview was generated by AI based on the book's content and reviews, and may not capture every nuance.
Your experience helps other parents find the right book.
Sign in to write a review