About This Book
Reach for this book when you need a gentle, honest way to talk about the death of a great-grandparent or an elderly family member. It provides a comforting framework for children who are experiencing their first encounter with loss, focusing on the beautiful continuity of family love across four generations. The story follows young Tommy as he visits his grandmother, Nana Downstairs, and his frail but spirited great-grandmother, Nana Upstairs. Through their shared rituals, like eating candy or sitting in a special chair, children see that aging is a natural part of life. When Nana Upstairs passes away, the book guides children through the transition from physical presence to keeping someone in their memory, making it an essential resource for parents navigating grief with preschoolers or young elementary students.
What Parents Should Know
Sensitive Topics
1. DISTRESS: The book contains a scene where Tommy enters his great-grandmother's room and finds it empty, leading to the news that she has died. This may cause sadness for children who are currently facing a similar loss. There is also a scene where Nana Upstairs is shown tied into her chair with a towel to prevent her from falling, which a child might perceive as scary or restrictive without the parent's explanation that it is for her safety. 2. CONVERSATION: Parents should be prepared to discuss the physical realities of aging (frailty, needing help) and the concept of death. Specifically, Tommy's mother uses the phrase "she won't be here anymore," which may prompt a child to ask where exactly she went.
Ideal Reader
A child aged 4 to 7 who is close to an elderly relative or who has recently experienced the loss of a grandparent.
Parent Prep
It is best to read this book through once alone to manage your own emotional response, especially the ending which spans many years. A child asking, "Why is Nana tied in the chair?" or "When will you be Nana Upstairs?"
Age Experience
Younger children (4-5) will focus on the concrete details of the visits and the candy. Older children (7-8) will grasp the metaphor of the falling star and the passing of time.
What Makes It Special
Unlike many books on grief that use animals, this is a semi-autobiographical human story that treats the physical decline of the elderly with dignity and realistic tenderness.
Read plot summary
Tommy visits his grandmother (Nana Downstairs) and his 94-year-old great-grandmother (Nana Upstairs) every Sunday. He helps Nana Downstairs in the kitchen and shares quiet moments with Nana Upstairs, who is often confined to her bed. When Nana Upstairs dies, Tommy's mother helps him understand that she lives on in his memory and through a falling star he sees in the night sky. Years later, when Nana Downstairs also passes, Tommy finds comfort in knowing they are both now Nana Upstairs.
This overview was generated by AI based on the book's content and reviews, and may not capture every nuance.
Discussion Prompts
1
Why do you think Tommy called them Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs instead of using their real names?
2
How did Tommy's mother help him feel better when he saw Nana's empty bed?
3
What were some of the special things Tommy did with Nana Upstairs that he wanted to remember?
4
At the end of the story, why did Tommy call both of them Nana Upstairs?
